anZel/Arden

Archive for October, 2007

It must be love

anZel and I talked about what he would like to be for Halloween months ago. Originally, he said he wanted to be Max in Where the Wild Things Are. Lately, the Itsy Bitsy spider song has fascinated him a great deal. So I gave him a choice of Max or spider. Naturally, he said spider.

I made a mad dash to the local St. Vincent DePaul for material yesterday. Luckily, I was able to find an XXL black velour woman top and a bright orange t-shirt for his costume. When I asked Grandma Helen to help, she said either she would do it or I would have to do it all. Since she made many of my outfits when I was little, I grateful stepped back as the assistant and let her take the lead. We started at 8:30 pm after anZel went to bed. Grandma and I worked side by side. She provided instruction on where to sew and I tried to keep my eyes peeled in order to sew a straight line.

Our tools were limited to a sewing machine, dull scissors, white threads for the sewing machine and our bare hands. Overall, I made a terrible seamstess and called it a night at 11:10 pm. Grandma Helen, the perfectionist, worked diligently and tirelessly until 5:50 am to finish this costume by hand. The end product looks good enough for the store. anZel was the only child in his day care with a handmade/homemade costume and he received rave reviews from his teachers. If you see a child wearing a spider costume until the end of the year, his name is anZel.

Material cost: $3.9
Love and sleep: Priceless

flying anZel

Click on photo for larger version.

joy of motherhood>>2nd quarter, year 2

Joy is when I see anZel shares his daily cheese with his bears and me. It’s when I see his little fingers snap together and says “spyter” requesting me to sing Itsy bitsy spider; when he says “I knoow”; when he asks for batteries because he can’t turn on his activity table; when he says “hanooo” with the phone next to his ear.

Fill in the blanks
Before anZel went to day care. I had the luxury of having grandma Helen filled me every hours of what anZel had done. Since going to day care, I have to rely on his teachers. Most of the time, they could never fulfill my inquiring mind. I want to know when he poop, eat and sleep, preferably in great details. Did he learn something new today? Did he sing his ABC song again? Has he sung his favorite “old McDonald” song? I cling on to everything they tell me. Sometimes I repeat to myself as if it would fill his day. I would send hungry vibes around Noon and sleep vibes around 1 pm.

According to the day care director, anZel took longer than usual to adapt than most of the children there because of his shy personalities. Initially, anZel’s behave changed dramatically. He became incredibly clingy to me as soon as he stepped in the house. He became a child I almost didn’t recognize and know. There were tantrums every night, something we weren’t familiar with before. I kept wondering where my reasonable sweet boy went. If this was the progress he would make by going to day care, perhaps it would have been better that he stayed home. It felt as if one has new cleaners at the house, every time you miss something in the house, you wonder if they took it.

In preparation for his day care, we started reciting what we have done each day (with details provided by Grandma Helen) two weeks before he started. Once he started day care, other than admiring all the buses, trucks and variety of cars, we would ask anZel what he has done at school everyday on our way home. He would usually say “old McDonald”, ABC and motorcycle. Once in a while, he would tell use a friend’s name from school. He drops little clues for us to piece together his day. The thought of buying the day care a web cam has crossed my mind.

Now that he has been there over 40 days, I realize his earlier behavior was a way to express his frustration with a completely foreign environment. Although he has picked up a few behaviors that we don’t care for, my sweet boy is back. I am amazed at the progress he has made. Because of the short time I get to share with him, I try make every minute counts with him. I was talking to him while driving home. I told him about the clouds we saw in a distant. Then I asked where the clouds were; he said “sky.” None of us have told him that, I was amazed to see how he connected clouds and planes are in the sky.

I still wish there would be ways for me to be part of his day other than the wee three hours. If this is a way to prepare for me to set him free, could I postpone this process?

Not in the books
None of the books would tell you that sleeping thru the night is an illusion. In anZel’s playgroup, only one baby really sleeps thru the night. That means she doesn’t get up in the middle of the night crying or asking for food. All other kids seem to get up one time or another just to make sure we know they are there. Thank you, but can we just leave that in the morning? When I was a single parent a couple weeks ago, anZel got up three or four times one night. One time, I think he did it just for fun (why else would you do it to your poor mother who looks like a beach whale?) Then he said his nose was stuffed up. After sucking every drop of moisture out of his nose, he woke up again and asked for a banana. Banana at 3AM? I said no and told him that if he asked for me one more time, I would close the door and let him go back to sleep by himself. With the sweetest voice you will hear at 3AM, he said “yes.” I lay down and told myself that he gave me the promise of the night. 10 minutes later, when I finally drifted back to sleep, I heard “mami.” ARRGGG! I closed the door of his side of the wing and the master bedroom door and slept without care if he was going to CIO or suck all the silicon out of his pacifier.

Transcript - starbucks

Yesterday evening (after I picked up anZel from daycare)

dAd: anZel, we are going to go home to have dinner now
anZel: hai (yes in Cantonese)
a bit later…
dAd: anZel, where are we going?
anZel: Starbucks
dAd: No, we are going home to have dinner
anZel: go home have dinner
dAd: that’s right
a bit later…
dAd: anZel, where are we going?
anZel: Starbucks
dAd: No no no, we are going home to have dinner
anZel: go home have dinner
dAd: that’s right

This went on 4 or 5 times until we got home…

This morning, as I was changing anZel

anZel: over there..
dAd: what’s over there?
anZel: Starbucks
dAd: huh!?

Howard Schultz and Jim Donald owe me big time for a new loyal customer in such young age!!

transcript

Morning…

Mum: anZel, mummie won’t see you until Sunday. On Friday, I will get on the plane to see Auntie T.
anZel: BIG plane
Mum: yes, Big plane. You know…Auntie T is getting married. You remember Auntie T. She took pictures of you before.
anZel: Auntie T
Mum: I am going to “see” her get married
anZel: see see (referring that he wants to see it as well)

Evening…

dAd: anZel mummie is working and she will be getting on a plane tomorrow
anZel: Auntie T…
dAd: (totally suprised) who?!
anZel: Auntie T…
dAd: What’s Auntie T doing?
anZel: Getting married…
dAd: (speechless)

this little dude’s got amazing memory…have to be careful what we say infront him…

transcript

Being the lone solider for parenting the past couple days has been challenging. This morning, dA Boss was taking his sweet time to drink his milk. I finally raised my voice to tell him to speed it up as I have a conference call.

me: Quick. Mum has to go to WORK!
anZel: don’t go to work…

If it would only be that easy…

Nut Free Zone

Here’s an interesting blog and comments on the topic of “Nut Free Zone.”