joy of motherhood >> 1q; y2
Written by beeber on April 4, 2008 – 4:06 pm -anZel has entered a new stage in his life. He has mastered one of the most powerful words in the world in English, Cantonese and Mandarin. That is “NO”. He dispenses generously it loud and clear throughout the day. Sometimes, it feels as if that’s the only word he knows. He has started to do more imaginary play recently. A couple days ago, he dropped a folded letter on the hardwood floor, put his right foot on it and said he was riding on a skateboard. I was shocked but proud of how creative he was with just a piece of paper. He has taken interest in cooking as well. He would put his little rubber ball in a scope, lay the scope on the apple of his Apple computer, push the button for the TV (next to his computer) and says he is cooking his meatball on the stove.
Over the Easter weekend, he had his first piece of Jelly Bean. I believed he is hooked for life. Anyone who offers candy will be in good terms with him. On our way to our friend Mike’s house on Easter Sunday, he asked if “Uncle Mike would have candy?” in Cantonese. We said you would have to ask in English. So we practice “Uncle Mike, could I have some candy, please?” Somehow, he was so eager to master the question that he asked for “money”. Nice try, kid!
We are still battling his lack of interest in food, even with bribe. He now weights 24 lbs with all of his clothes on. I have finally given in and let him feed himself several weeks ago. His pediatrician told me that his growth is fine and I should left the food issue alone. “Would you rather him be fat and miserable or thin and happy? he asked. I guess it would be more like anZel would be thin and happy. Mum, on the other hand, would be fat and miserable because relatives and acquaintances constantly hound her why she doesn’t feed her featherweight son.
It has been three and a half months since we welcome Arden home. She remains to be a cute and adorable blob of flesh. I am still amazed that we are blessed with such a beautiful little girl. I often admire the delicate veins under her translucent eyelids when she is asleep. A flash of her gum is pure joy. So far, Arden is a great sleeper. In that sense, I mean she likes to sleep, eat and sleep. If it were up to her, she would like to be held and sleep at all time. Arden’s lethal weapon is her cry. We always give in. Soon all of us will need hearing aids.
In preparing my reentry to work, I have started to trained Arden to nap in her bassinet. It has been five days. She has adapted remarkably well. After I swaddled her this afternoon, she was out cold in two minutes. Unlike her brother, she is an on-the-dot kind of girl and enjoys her routine.
I will be rid of the title mum of two under two in 14 days,. When I tell people the ages of my children, they often give me this sucks-to-be-you look. After all, the term two under two has drilled into our brains that having two children under two will permanently damage one’s brain (it’s true). So, should I expect the sky to clear after anZel’s second birthday? I doubt it.
I have realized that people (those with and/or without kids) will tell you things will get better. The fact is we are trying to give each other some sort of milestone to look forward to…to see the light at the end of the tunnel. “20 months apart, that’s perfect. They can play together.” “Three years apart is ideal.” “Six years apart works the best.” Really, I don’t think there is a perfect solution for deciding when to have first or second kid. It just all depends. As far as getting better, it also depends. There are benefits and challenges at each age/stage. When they are a blob of flesh, you won’t have to worry about them turning on the gas range. When they are two, you won’t have to worry about feeding them every two hours (for ours, we could skip feeding all together). Recently, I met a dad who has two girls. He told me that all of his summer weekends are booked because he would have to shuttle his girls to soccer practice or other children activities. So, it will get better, in some ways.
In talking to a dear friend today, I whined to her that it’s hard to be a mum. She said “but you have help.” Then I was finally able to tell her why it’s hard to be parents. For me, it’s hard because I can’t bear that there is only one of me when they both cry. No doubt it’s a physically demanding job as mum. All the picking up and rocking the kids have taken toll on my back. I never knew back pain until I have children. But all these can be overcome, especially when I am blessed with two healthy children. The hardest is when anZel wants me to be his playmate and Arden wants to nurse. Since anZel spends at least 40 hours out of the house, I cherish each second he has at home. Soon, I will be back at work. Each second I am at home is doubly precious.
Posted in Arden, General, Quarterly Review, anZel, for dA record |