A perfect example came yesterday. anZel woke up asking for dAd after his afternoon nap. Big tears were coming out of his eyes when I told him that dAd had gone to work. He knew there wouldn’t be videos to watch without dAd because mum had never “seemed” to be able to get the computer to work. I had to keep Mr. Grumpy contained in his room because Arden was asleep. It would be the end of with one child throwing a tantrum and another one without her afternoon nap. There were a lot of pushing and kicking and telling me that he no longer wanted mum. After much holding and telling him, we were finally able to settle on a couple of books. We were even able to practice throwing a bag of diapers in getting our frustration out I was happy that we were able to “redirect” him in channeling his frustration. Once Arden woke up, the three of us were able to play together for a short while.

Since both of them have a variety of allergies, I tend to avoid process food. The children rarely eat candies. For some reason, a couple of leftover lollipops caught anZel’s eyes on the kitchen counter. He asked if he could hold them. He knew better than to eat them. So I gladly offered them for him to hold one on each hand. Then he had asked for another one. I asked if he had three hands. He said “I could put one under my armpit.” And he asked if he could eat one. I said no. He started getting frustrated and used the lollipops to hit me. The rule at home is that if one doesn’t know how to use something (given a couple of warnings), the tool/object would be removed from the holder. So I removed the lollipops and told him that he could have them back in 5 minutes. This just sent him over the edge with lots of hitting, stomping his feet and crying hysterically. I gave more warnings and told him that if he didn’t stop, I would have to put the lollipops in the trash. At the end, the lollipops went into the trashcan in the kitchen. He went digging for them while murmuring “are they in here?”. So they had to go to the big trashcan in the garage. He was so upset that he threw up over himself and me. My white shirt was covered with sour yogurt and cantaloupe. Eventually, we made peace and I told him that I would buy some “home” (allergy-free) lollipops. After we changed into clean clothes, I decided that he could use another hug and some more reassuring words. As I reached down to pick him up, he jumped up with all his might. With his little coconut aimed directly at my jaw, my brain hit the roof of my skull, my mouth closed and my teeth sank into my tongue. I tried all my strength to keep my cool. I found the doorframe and slowly guided myself on the floor. While I didn’t want to scare him, I couldn’t keep the tears coming out of my eyes. I felt blood in my mouth. anZel was in shock as well. I told him that I knew he didn’t mean to hurt me but I needed a moment because it really hurt me. Eventually, I got myself together and walked downstairs with him.

With blood still in my mouth, all three of us went outside for a walk. anZel insisted on riding his scooter and Arden wanted to be on the tricycle. Then Arden wanted to be on the scooter. A few feet down the road, she decided she wanted to go by herself and pushed my hands away. Somehow it didn’t surprise me that she fell and hit her head on the pavement. In order to hurry home, I asked anZel to ride the tricycle home and hold the scooter with one hand and Arden the other. But anZel insisted on hold his sister and ride at the same time. When it proved to be futile, he told me that I must be hold his sister’s hand. He said, “I am on the bike, the cars won’t hit me. Hold sister’s hands (worry about her getting hit).”

As I strained to retell my weekend to my colleagues with my still swollen tongue, there was smile on my face.